Monday, 9 November 2015

The Seven Stages of Waiting For a Book Release (in GIFs)

  1. Curiosity

 
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Having just finished book one (or two, or thirteen, or twenty three - we won't discriminate), you boot up your laptop. Hand trembling, you attempt to open the internet. You miss once. Twice. Finally online, you type in the dreaded question:

When will Generic Series Title two come out?

You click on the first link and hold your breath.

2. Disbelief

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Next year. NEXT YEAR?!? That's not possible. I mean, sure you bought this one the moment it came out, but still. Next year is just...it's so far away. This is not okay.

3. Hyperventilation

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It's more than not okay. It's physically impossible for you to wait that long. Especially after that cliffhanger. If you don't find out what happens within a week - no! A day - no! Half an hour, your head is going to explode.

4. Get a hold of yourself, man!

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In comes your sensible side. The brains to your beauty. The logic to your passion. The slap to your flushed, barely breathing face.

(In other words, me.)

Stop squalling, it says, 'cause I'm not putting up with that for twelve months on end. There are a billion series in this world, not just that one. Find a different one to geek out over. Preferably one that's already complete. 

5. Binge Reading

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You drown yourself in other worlds. Some you stay with all night long, others you leave before the party ends. Eventually you even manage to forget about the torturous cliffhanger you're so desperate to see resolved.

...Until a month or so before the new release, when you hit...

6. All of the theories!

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You don't care who came up with them. You. The internet. The author's pet cat. Some of them are stupid, beyond crazy, and you laugh at them whilst secretly wishing they could happen. Others sound dangerously plausible.

During this period, you hang off the author's every word, hoping they'll let something slip. 

Spoiler: this is not going to happen.

7. Anti-climax

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Because, when you've hyped it up this much, this is the only possible outcome.


Right now, I'm waiting on an endless number of books - The Raven King, See How They Run, Half Lost, The Hidden Oracle... Which books are you desperate to get your hands on, and which stage are you at? 
 Please leave your thoughts, theories, moans and groans in the comments.